The Condundrum of the Anxious Brain…. Read Closely
For as long as you can remember, anxiety is a part of your experience. No not every single day, all day long, but you have become so accustomed to the tightness in your chest, the tension in your neck, and the butterflies in your belly, that it's only when you feel nauseous or like you can't breathe that you call it "anxiety".
From the outside it looks like you've got it all together. You are independent and competent. Your friends look to you and think, "She is a bad ass" but meanwhile you feel like an imposter. Yes, you are doing alright when you are really honest with yourself. Sure it could be far worse. No you aren't stuck in bed every day or agoraphobic, afraid to leave your house. Maybe the occasional panic attack, but you take Klonopin or Xanax when you really need it, and have extra's because you hate to take it unless you absolutely have to!!
Your life is full in every other sense. You travel, you have close friends, you are a high functioning woman and yet you know that deep within you have also just gotten really really good at managing. In the quiet moments with yourself when you lay down at night or when the house is still, your mind goes back to that one thing, that one thing you beat yourself up over again and again. Your weight, your lack of successful relationships, your path to making your mark in the world, your growing debt, your relationships with your family…you know the thing.
It is the one area that you keep circling around again and again like an old friend, except every time you think of her you feel worse not better. This is anxiety too. This is the modern day acceptable anxiety- the kind that we all think is normal and that your friends discuss over wine. The sense of not being enough, being discontent, unfulfilled, not quite where you want to be.
You know how to live alongside the dull ache in your belly. You know how to meditate with your apps when you can remember and find the time. You and your counselor or life coach have talked about how to breathe from your belly, slow down, and de-stress. You are familiar with the empowerment of Brene Brown, Gabrielle Bernstein, Rachel Hollis and have read many personal development books like "Girl You're a Bad Ass", "The Gifts of Imperfection", and "UnFu*ck Yourself".
You are not just a trend follower, you are on a mission. You believe in the value of personal development, living your best life, and deepening your awareness and connection to your self. The Four Agreements, The Untethered Soul, A New Earth.... they are somewhere on your book shelf or in your auidobook files. You geek out on connecting with other women in a soulful way. Energy clearing, soulful living, embodied presence- You want more.
The Truth.
The tools you have they kind of work, but there is a part of you, a deeper subtler, more powerful part of you whispering- "This could be easier. I want to feel more free and at peace in my mind and body" followed by your mental favorites like "I should be doing better. I should be able to knock this anxiety by now. My life is fine. My life is good. Heck, my life is even great at times. What's wrong with me? Will this ever go away? "
You leave your inner monologue with the final conclusion. Try harder. Be better. Do better. This is it. This is the feedback loop of the anxious mind keeping you from the truest essence of who you are.
“You, like me, are a spiritual being in a human body. You are a spirit having a human experience, not a human having a spiritual experience. “
The Problem.
Yet, so often we are taught how to manage human symptoms with human tools and I get it. I am trained that way. I went to graduate school and studied the latest techniques to manage anxiety. The idea of "managing it" is half the problem. Trying to manage anything sounds quite frankly exhausting. The truth is, it is not your fault. You are doing the best you can with what you know. Yet your inner knowing , your north star, keeps pointing you to the direction of your soul, your spirit and true freedom.
You soul, your life force, your sense of vitality knows that you are held, supported, and completely taken care of. Your truest self knows that vibrationally you are not anxiety but rather love, light, and peace.
Your work is to try less, manage none, and to relax back into the essence of your true nature.In this space, anxiety simply becomes passing vibrational disruption moving through your body- not here to stay nor define you or your experience.
You are not anxiety. Step one is to drop the narrative that "I am anxious. I am an anxious person. I have anxiety."You are not.You have unintentionally conditioned your body to respond in an anxious way. It is what is familiar, comfortable, and expected. But NOT who you are. You are love, light, peace, ease, and pure positive essence.
Anxiety is an emotional state that is simply passing through in response to the thoughts in your mind that are separate from your truth.
It is possible to shift your experience, to tap into a soft belly, an open heart, an abundant spacious mind, a body that you love to be in because you are at peace with what is.